by C. S. (Clive Staples) 1898-1963 Lewis
First published 2021
C.S. Lewis opens his notebook and begins to write, his hand shaking as he records the brutal reality of his wife Joy's death. The celebrated Christian apologist finds his faith crumbling in what he calls the "mad midnight moments" of grief. He questions everything he once proclaimed about God, love, and eternal life. Doubt and self-pity overwhelm him as he struggles with the simple truth that he wants exactly what he can never have again: Joy's laughter, their conversations, the ordinary moments that made their marriage precious. Lewis writes these observations as his defense against complete emotional collapse, a way to survive the harrow of bereavement. Through his honest examination of loss, he discovers that grief itself is woven into the very fabric of love. His journal becomes both a crisis of faith and a testament to it, revealing a man willing to admit his human frailty while searching for meaning in suffering.
Genres: christian, grief, 20th-century, biography-memoir
Vibes: emotional-atmospheric, intimate, thought-provoking
Tropes: personal-journey, spiritual-crisis
Period: 20th Century
72 pages · Paperback · Hassell Street Press
Content warnings: death