First published 2025
Jeannie Vanasco's mother begins using the silent treatment after moving into a renovated apartment within Vanasco's home. The silences start with any perceived slight. Her mother's shortest silence lasts two weeks. Her longest stretches six months. Vanasco explains that her parents used this tactic on each other to avoid saying something they would regret. Now Vanasco wonders what her mother wants to say that she would regret. The author traces her mother's childhood and their shared history while navigating the devastating quiet of their present relationship. She researches the psychology of silence as punishment, consulting friends, her partner, and even Google searches from her kitchen table. Vanasco explores the loneliness and isolation that silence creates, both in her personal experience and in broader contexts. Her greatest fear becomes that her mother will never speak to her again. This memoir presents a complex portrait of a mother and daughter who struggle, fail, and sometimes succeed in understanding each other.
Genres: psychology, contemporary, memoir, biography-memoir, family-drama
Vibes: emotionally-raw, intimate, introspective, melancholic, thought-provoking
Tropes: family-secrets, generational-trauma, unreliable-communication
Period: 21st century
304 pages · Hardcover · Tin House
Content warnings: emotional-abuse, mental-illness