by Kaila Yu
First published 2025
Kaila Yu grew up seeing no Asian women like herself represented as beautiful unless they were sexualized stereotypes. The media offered her geishas, sex workers, and submissive caricatures while reserving the "girl next door" role for white women. Yu concluded that sexualizing herself was the only path to desirability and value. This memoir in essays traces how she internalized these messages, altered her body to meet Western standards, worked as a pinup and import model, auditioned for dehumanizing roles, and toured with her band Nylon Pink in revealing outfits. Yu connects her personal story to larger forces of colonialism, media representation, and the legacy of U.S. military occupation in Asia. She examines how these systems created destructive stereotypes about Asian women's bodies and sexuality. The book moves from self-objectification toward healing, offering both cultural analysis and intimate reflection on beauty, desire, and reclaiming selfhood.
Genres: essays, feminism, memoir, biography-memoir, 21st-century, cultural-studies
Vibes: analytical, empowering, intimate, introspective, thought-provoking, unflinching
Tropes: cultural-analysis, personal-reckoning, self-discovery, systemic-critique
Setting: Asia, United States
Period: 21st century
256 pages · Hardcover · Crown
Content warnings: colonialism, sexism, sexual-content