by Ben Lerner, Cruz Rodríguez Juiz
First published 2011
Adam Gordon arrives in Spain on a prestigious fellowship, armed with medication and elaborate lies. He's supposed to be researching a complex poetry project, but mostly wanders Madrid's streets, fabricating interactions and performances of intellectual authenticity. When a beautiful Spanish woman enters his orbit, Adam must navigate the thin line between performance and genuine connection, all while wrestling with imposter syndrome and chronic anxiety. His fellowship becomes a high-wire act of deception: improvising conversations, inventing research progress, and constructing elaborate personas for his fellow artists and academics. As relationships develop—romantic, professional, and accidental—Adam confronts the fundamental instability of his own identity and the fragile constructions of self that hold his world together.
Genres: literary-fiction, coming-of-age, contemporary, academic
Vibes: atmospheric, intimate, thought-provoking
Tropes: fish-out-of-water, unreliable-narrator
Setting: Madrid, Spain
Period: 21st-century
181 pages · Paperback · Coffee House Press
Content warnings: anxiety, mental-illness