First published 2021
Ashley Ford has built her entire childhood around the father she barely remembers. He sits in prison for reasons no one will explain, yet she clings to the belief that he understands her in ways no one else can. She imagines him as sensitive and artistic like herself, someone who might also fear the dark. Through years of poverty and a difficult relationship with her mother, Ashley holds onto dreams of reunion and completion. Adolescence brings new challenges as her changing body attracts unwanted male attention and sleepless nights fill with anxiety she cannot name. When she begins dating a boy her mother despises, the relationship ends in assault that she keeps hidden from her family. Still recovering from this trauma, Ashley finally learns the truth about her father's crime. This revelation forces her to confront the gap between the parent she invented and the man who actually exists, launching her toward a deeper understanding of family, forgiveness, and her own identity.
Genres: family, abuse, african-american, coming-of-age, autobiography, contemporary, adolescence, biography-memoir
Vibes: emotional, intimate, thought-provoking
Tropes: coming-of-age, family-secrets, unreliable-narrator
224 pages · Hardcover · Flatiron Books: An Oprah Book
Content warnings: abuse, sexual-assault