When I Hit You

by Meena Kandasamy

First published 2020

The narrator meets a university professor and falls deeply in love. She becomes his wife, but her new marriage quickly transforms into a nightmare of violence and isolation. Her husband subjects her to both intellectual and physical cruelty, trapping her in a world where she has no allies or escape routes. The beatings escalate, and she finds herself cut off from friends, family, and any support system. Yet she refuses to surrender completely. She discovers that writing offers her a lifeline, a way to preserve her sanity and assert her identity. Through words, she creates a space her husband cannot control or destroy. The act of putting her experiences on paper becomes her most powerful form of resistance. Based on Kandasamy's own marriage, this story moves between moments of terror and unexpected humor, between despair and fierce determination. The narrator's voice remains sharp and defiant even as she describes the worst abuse, showing how creativity can survive even the most brutal attempts to silence it.

Genres: literary-fiction, domestic-fiction, abuse, contemporary

Vibes: dark, emotional, intimate, thought-provoking

Tropes: intimate, unreliable-narrator

224 pages · Paperback · Europa Editions

Content warnings: abuse, domestic-violence, physical-abuse

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