by Yiyun Li
First published 2019
A mother creates an imaginary space where she can speak with her son Nikolai, who died by suicide. In this realm beyond ordinary life and death, mother and child talk freely, unbound by the weight of their previous relationship. She tells him, "We once gave Nikolai a life of flesh and blood; and I'm doing it over again, this time by words." Through these conversations, she rebuilds their connection using language as her tool. The mother holds tight to what she calls her single delusion, using it to bridge the impossible distance between them. Their exchanges reveal both the tenderness and complications that shaped their bond when he was alive. Li wrote these dialogues during the months following her own child's death, transforming her raw grief into a meditation on love that persists beyond loss. The conversations become a way to give her son new life through words, creating a space where their relationship can continue and evolve.
Genres: literary-fiction, contemporary, 21st-century, family-drama
Vibes: emotional, intimate, lyrical, thought-provoking
Tropes: grief, loss, mother-son-relationship
170 pages · Hardcover · Random House
Content warnings: death, suicide