Work Mate Marry Love

by Debora L. Spar

First published 2021

Debora L. Spar explores how technology transforms our most intimate relationships. The Harvard Business School professor and former Barnard College president traces the evolution of marriage from agricultural societies to industrial nuclear families. She examines how streetlights, automobiles, and birth control pills disrupted courtship patterns throughout history. Spar then turns to contemporary challenges posed by dating apps like Tinder, reproductive technologies including IVF, and emerging artificial intelligence. She asks whether people will form romantic bonds with robots and how medical advances enabling gender transition will reshape our understanding of relationships. The book investigates how these technological shifts will alter traditional patterns of heterosexual, monogamous, two-parent households. Spar predicts that future production modes will create new norms for romance, sex, family formation, and child-rearing. Rather than celebrating or condemning technological change, she presents a measured analysis of how these developments might improve human relationships and family structures.

Genres: family, social-issues, relationships, non-fiction, 21st-century, academic

Vibes: intimate, measured, thought-provoking

Tropes: historical-analysis, social-commentary

Setting: Harvard, Barnard College

Period: Agricultural Societies, Industrial Nuclear Families

384 pages · Paperback · Picador Paper

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