You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up

by Annabelle Gurwitch

First published 2011

Comedians Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn have been married thirteen years and discovered they're "just not that into us." Rather than divorce, they've kept their relationship alive through strategic complaining, deliberate emotional distance, and generous amounts of pinot noir. Their marriage runs on competitive parenting and a mutual rejection of couples therapy. When their infant son receives a VACTERL diagnosis, a collection of rare birth defects, the couple navigates a complex medical journey that tests their unconventional bond. Gurwitch and Kahn alternate perspectives in brutally honest accounts of cohabitation, mismatched libidos, and the realities of pregnancy. He observes her feral housekeeping habits while she marvels at his enthusiasm for nudity. This raw examination of long-term commitment serves equal portions of cynicism and genuine affection, proving that lasting love requires more than romantic feelings.

Genres: contemporary, adult-fiction, comedy, family-drama

Vibes: emotional, intimate, thought-provoking

Tropes: enemies-to-lovers, found-family

272 pages · Paperback · Crown

Content warnings: medical-trauma

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