First published 2009
Joan Wickersham faces an impossible reality on a winter morning in 1991. Her father has shot himself in the head. The man she knew and loved seemed incapable of such an act, yet the evidence cannot be denied. His death transforms his entire existence into a puzzle she must solve. She turns to an unexpected tool for understanding this chaos: the rigid structure of an index. Through alphabetical entries, Wickersham sifts through family memories, conversations with friends and doctors, and encounters with other survivors. Each fragment reveals new aspects of her father while deepening the mystery of who he really was. The formal organization of an index becomes her way of wrestling with incomprehensible loss. This methodical approach exposes the complexity of grief and the impossibility of fully knowing another person, even someone as close as a parent. The book becomes both an investigation into the circumstances of her father's death and a meditation on love, loss, and the stories families tell themselves.
Genres: literary-fiction, psychology, contemporary, non-fiction, biography-memoir, family-drama
Vibes: emotional-atmospheric, intimate, thought-provoking
Tropes: unreliable-narrator
Period: 1991
163 pages · ebook · Mariner Books
Content warnings: suicidal-ideation, suicide